


Even a Sleeping Dog is a Better Presidential Candidate than Jerry

by SesuRescue (Kigachan)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Elections, Gen, Humor, Neutral Zine, Post-Undertale Neutral Route, Post-Undertale Neutral Route - Dog Ending, Zine piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 05:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17912669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kigachan/pseuds/SesuRescue
Summary: The king was missing.The consensus was that every single monster who could’ve taken over as ruler in Asgore’s place was gone, disappeared without a trace in the night. Tensions were high as each monster talked over the other, but the same question reigned supreme: What do we do now?Well obviously, you have a presidental election!(Zine piece written for NeutralZine!)





	Even a Sleeping Dog is a Better Presidential Candidate than Jerry

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This piece was made for Neutral Zine, an Undertale Zine about the various neutral routes. This free pdf of this zine was released on the 22nd, and you can find it here: [ neutralzine.tumblr.com ](https://neutralzine.tumblr.com/post/182986530404/the-neutral-run-zine-is-here-featuring-many) Please consider checking out the rest of the wonderful works created by the other contributors of this zine!

It was chaos. Utter pandemonium.

The king was missing. The news was discovered earlier that morning after a few monsters (who were headed to the castle for mid-morning tea) discovered it empty. There was initial panic, but the monsters had decrees in place, contingency plans that went back decades in the making if something like this happened. The thought had been reassuring...

Until they couldn't find the Captain.

Or the Royal Scientist.

Or Mettaton…

Wait, even that quirky skeleton sentry was gone?!

  _✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧_

The monsters gathered in the castle ballroom, the only place that miraculously had enough space to fit everyone, even the larger monsters like Tsunderplane and Onion-San. The consensus was that every single monster who could’ve taken over as ruler in Asgore’s place was gone, disappeared without a trace in the night. Tensions were high as each monster talked over the other, but the same question reigned supreme: What do we do now?

It came as no surprise to the Snowdin residents of the room when a particular bear monster raised their hand to speak, and the room went silent as they made their way to the stage.

The bear monster cleared their throat. “Uh, hi. I’m Politics Bear from Snowdin Town, known to my friends as Bear. I’ve been observing the political atmosphere of the Underground for quite some time now, and I think I might have a way to solve our dilemma here.” They paused for a minute to survey the silent crowd before continuing.

“There’s a type of political system where eligible members of a population decide they want to rule and become candidates. They make their appeal to the rest of the population and tell them why they’re running in an event called a debate. After the debate, we choose a winner. Since we’re all equals here, I think this might be able to work!”

The crowd murmured amongst each other, discussing the bold idea this ‘Bear’ had. It was madness to even begin to entertain the idea; one of them ruling over everyone else? It was unthought of!

And yet…

What else could they do?

One by one the crowd agreed, and soon the whole room was in favor of the idea. It was almost unanimous that Bear would be one of the candidates; they seemed to have the most knowledge of this system, and no one else really wanted to throw their hat in the ring just yet.

“We have a candidate!” “(One of our own!)”

Well, until now.

Bear waved to the monsters who spoke, the dog couple of the Royal Guard. “Dogamy, Dogaressa, are you planning to run as well?”

Dogamy shook his head. “No, we think the most qualified monster to run is Greater Dog! He is the strongest of the Canine Unit!”

Dogaressa nodded, agreeing with her husband. “(He is also the best at receiving pats and affection!)”

Bear shrugged; it seemed like a good enough reason to them. They searched the crowd for the elusive Guard member and swiftly found him in a corner, trying to pounce on a Madjick’s floating orbs. Through the combined effort of several monsters and the promise of high-quality head scratches, they managed to get Greater Dog onto the stage.

“Hey, you guys better put ME in too!” A nasal-like voice echoed off the castle halls, and every monster in the room bristled. That voice...there was only one monster who sounded like that, but it couldn’t be…

Thin, noodly appendages grabbed onto the edge of the stage, and a grunt of effort was heard as the monster attempted to pull its body up. “Hey, can’t someone HELP me? Doesn’t ANYONE care?” When no one made the move to help, it grumbled louder and redoubled its efforts. Sweat poured off its forehead as it finally got a footing on the side, dragging its large, saucer-like body onto the stage with a shout. Shallow breaths left swollen lips as the monster got to its feet, and the room let out a collective sigh at the creature.

Jerry.

“Hey, I’m running too,” Jerry said matter-of-factly. It pulled out a bag of Popato Chisps and shoved a handful into its mouth, smacking loudly as it continued. “It’s not like YOU guys will even have a chance of winning against me, but I'll still allow you to run and all.”

Bear chuckled uneasily. They weren’t a fan of Jerry; no one in Snowdin was a fan of it. But, it wasn’t like they could just boot it off the stage, no matter how much they wanted to. “Well, looks like we have our candidates…” They glanced at Greater Dog, who was chewing on their weapon. “Shall we do the debate?”

Bear decided to allow an hour for each candidate to prepare their pitch for the audience, and in that time the duo from the Hotland division of the Royal Guard brought in podiums and tall chairs from other parts of the castle.

In no time at all the stage was set, each candidate was in place, and the debate was ready to begin. The monster known only as Snowdrake’s father and ‘that one comedian dude’ shuffled over to the mic at the front.

“Before I call to ordah this debate. I’d like to open with a joke.” He leaned in close to the mic and made direct eye contact with the audience. “My parental aptitude.” A wave of awkwardness swept through the silent crowd. Someone coughed in the back. Snowdrake’s father laughed and moved back to a respectable distance. “Ha ha ha...That’s not funny. Anyway. Let the debate begin. Go ahead. Introduce yourselves.”

Bear went first. “Uh, hi. Again. I’m Bear, as you already know. I don’t actually think I’m the best choice for leading the Underground. I wouldn’t do a good job, and really--I just hate being responsible for things.” Bear shrugged. “I do love politics though, so I just might be a perfect match. If you elect me, I promise to be a leader who makes someone else do all the leg work while I watch over the politics side of things. Let’s work hard to make sure that we are all living the best lives that we can, despite the conditions. Uh, that’s it.”

The audience clapped, a few in the front nodding their heads in approval. Snowdrake’s dad clapped as well. “Yes. Good words from a good monstah. I’d expect nothin’ less from a Snowdin Resident. Next up. Greatah Dog. Please introduce yourself.”

Greater Dog rose to his feet, skipping the mic entirely to jump into the crowd. He licked a few faces before settling down in someone’s lap and promptly falling asleep. The drake cleared his throat. “Well. I guess that means he’ll be an enthusiastic leadah. or somethin’…” He shrugged. “Now. It’s. Ugh. Jerry.”

Jerry slithered its tentacles over the mic to test it, causing a few members of the audience to gag. When it was satisfied, it brought the mic to its face. “So, if for SOME reason you guys don’t know, the wi-fi here sucks. Elect me, and I’ll make sure you guys make it better--Hey! Like, why are you throwing things at me?” Jerry scoffed as it narrowly dodged a Crab Apple and retreated to a spot underneath the podium. “You guys SUCK!” It yelled.

Snowdrake’s father shivered his feathers, shaking his head in shame. “Well. Those were. Words. We’re goin’ to take a little break. Go stretch your legs. Be back in three hours so we can vote on our next leadah.”

The monsters took a break. Some, like Bear, decided to stay in the Castle and roam the halls. Others went outside to stretch their legs, only to be accosted by Muffet and her special ‘Election Day’ bake sale--which, unsurprisingly, had no discount on her products.

At long last, the time to convene was near. Everyone--except for Muffet, who was counting the G she received from some very charitable monsters--made their way back into the cramped ballroom and took their seats. Bear stood on the stage, keeping a respectable amount of distance from Jerry as they scanned the crowd for their third candidate. “Uh, where’s Greater Dog?” They asked.

Doggo, from the Canine Unit, leaned his arms against the stage. A half-smoked dog treat threatened to fall from his mouth as he narrowed his eyes at the bear. “The big guy? Oh, I just talked to him. He said that--wait, where did you go?” Bear moved their fingers for the monster to see, prompting him to continue. “Oh, there you are. Yeah, he said he didn’t want to run anymore, so he went to take a nap.”

Huh. Bear scratched the side of their face awkwardly. That was...unfortunate. Greater Dog was a very formidable opponent, and it wouldn't be the same without him. “Well, it’s just not good politics to run unopposed--”

“Hey!” Jerry shouted. “I’m still here!”

“--So I will, regretfully, have to step down from the race.” Bear gave his mic to Snowdrake’s father and left the stage, leaving the drake alone with Jerry.

“Please. Isn’t there anyone else who can run?” The snowdrake pleaded with the crowd. “I don’t want to be stuck with this guy for the rest of my life. Ha ha ha...It’s really not funny.”

Suddenly, as if answering his prayers, a small, white dog jumped up from the crowd. Everyone watched transfixed as the animal seemed to break the laws of physics, ricocheting off the walls, the pillars, and even the ceiling, before landing squarely in the middle of the stage. Shaking off the fall, the dog circled the spot a few times before collapsing into a small pile and falling asleep.

“Um,” A voice spoke up from the crowd. “Can we, like, vote for that little dog?”

Ten minutes later, the vote was done, and President Dog won out in a landslide in the Underground’s first ever election.

Strangely, this was the best life for everyone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate all forms of kudos/comments/etc, and if you're over 18, you can follow me on [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/sesurescue) or [ PillowFort ](https://www.pillowfort.io/SesuRescue)!
> 
> If not, you can follow my SFW works on [ Ao3 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mezzosesu/works), [ tumblr ](https://mezzosesu.tumblr.com/), or [ PillowFort ](https://www.pillowfort.io/MezzoSesu)!


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